asian bi-sexual/gay shout out

[phlyRy]

it suddenly occurred to me i never asked. i know i feel like i don't know that many non-straight asians because i don't know them in person, but it never occurred to me to ask who HERE in met is a non-straight asian.

i'll start. i am one. but it's somewhat affected by other things.

[Harakiri]

What's the important difference between being bisexual and being a bisexual asian?

[Sukoshi Aki]

Hm... maybe it DOESN'T matter, but it's just a question.

Well, I have a few gay Asian friends, but uh.. my mom says they're just confused because they're only 14. But she doesn't know what they think, so gay it is.

[raine]

hum.. well i have a few =D iii met them at the prom last year going as a couple =D

i dont know wether they go to met or not.. but why should it matter?

[Ash]

i'm not asian but i'm bi :o

[skye_eiden]

*waves* ^^ im asian. im already commited with a guy... so i dunno if still count as bi anymore o.o;;; i was. i could still be? XD

[phlyRy]

it doesn't matter. it was just a curiosity. since it seems rather rare. or feels that way. so i feel rather alone in that aspect. most of my real life friends are straight...or were. and just on a very off hand thing i'm into asian girls...but i haven't encountered many who would be interested in me. so this is just a way to get out my frustration.

[kokochiyoi]

I have one lesbian asian friend...well actually she is one of my ex-boyfriend's friends, anyway she is lesbian, at least she was when we were in contact, I'm not asian and I'm straight and I know many guys who are gays, but they are not asian...oh gosh I'm getting lost with my own words. I think gays are the coolest, (at least here), they have the best guys (;)), the best music, the best disco WOHO!!! and many of them are way friendly and cool, well at least the ones I know. :)

[Jackal]

I know a few bisexual people in my batch. They're pretty friendly only thing I don't like about them is their musical tastes.

[ACXchan]

!!!!!!

I have FINE musical taste XD

[Haiyaku]

My ex-girlfriend's asian and bi-sexual. I'm gay, but white, so I don't count. :(

[phlyRy]

lol. actually aren't lesbians notoriously known for bad musical taste? tho i don't think i'm one of them...

[kyrien]

I think asian families are usually less tolerant of homo-/bisexuality, which is why misao specified asian, but I certainly don't think non-asians should feel any less welcomed in sharing their opinions. So Haiyaku is good. =)

Hm, I'm not sure what I am. I oogle over guys, and think some girls look good, but it's mostly from an artist's point of view (ie., Hey, that guy looks pretty hot... but I wonder why. Is it his eyes, or is it his chin? *studies*) and I don't really care for a romantic relationship with anyone/-thing. Imagining myself being lovey-dovey or publically displaying affection to anyone aside from my sisters makes me twitch. My sisters are just cute. They could use some pinching every now and then.

[AnguishedBlade]

What's the important difference between being bisexual and being a bisexual asian?


Yeah, what is the difference?

[reverie]

I'm white and bi; one of my best friends is also bi, and she's Asian (Chinese). Her family (well, her parents) don't know she is, but the reason she hasn't told them is because she knows how they would react. I don't think it's just because they're Asian though; I think it's just who they are and what they personally think.

[Pikachu]

Yeah, what is the difference?

No difference, but jsut as rwen said (quoting her), asian families are less tolerant of bisexuality/homosexuality that's why misao specified asians. :3 Personally, I don't have (actually that might be I don't know) any bisexual asian friends. I do have one white bisexual ... acquaintance, but he's not open about it. :3

[phlyRy]

i think the problem with asians coming out...is the very nature of asian culture.statistically, non-straight population is the minority. for an asian person to come out and say, yeah i'm gay...is individualism...so naturally there's this taboo quality about it. i mean asian ppl don't even like talking much about sex...it's more like...yeah THAT thing.

[kokochiyoi]

well it must be hard for someone to already say he/she is homosexual then if you are asian seems to be even harder isn't it?

[AnguishedBlade]

No difference, but jsut as rwen said (quoting her), asian families are less tolerant of bisexuality/homosexuality

Whaddya talkin about? My family is less tolerant of EVERYTHING. And they're asian.

This is nothing.

[Kinael]

That's just your family, though.

[AnguishedBlade]

I'm afraid that's everyone's family.


You do something wrong, they'll say something smart, and they will go through this long speech that will bore you to death, and you will be asked to respond and learn from this.

And to top that off, half of the time they make their speech, it's not even in English.

[Pikachu]

Whaddya talkin about? My family is less tolerant of EVERYTHING. And they're asian.

This is nothing.

but we are talking about homosexuality/bisexuality here... I'm sure a lot of asian families are less tolerant of everything, but the current topic is about asians (and some non-asians) being open about their homo-bisexuality and, I guess, why it might be harder for asians to be open about it. --;

[Naruto-kun]

People in the world are judgemental.

Especially where I live... although in Canada...

*nod nod* Still. And asian families want they're children to life specific lives. Why? They're just so goddamn... strict...

For me, I can't share it with everyoen. Religion barriers are also present...

*sigh* Stupid...

Why won't people open they're eyes...

I found out that I was bi. *GASP!*

EDIT: oh yeah, I'm asian too.. xD

[william]

I'm afraid that's everyone's family.


You do something wrong, they'll say something smart, and they will go through this long speech that will bore you to death, and you will be asked to respond and learn from this.

And to top that off, half of the time they make their speech, it's not even in English.

Please don't make sweeping generalizations of everyone, because not everyone here comes from an asian background and not all asian families respond to mess ups the way you have described.

On another note, I'm not asian but I am firmly standing on the bisexual line and personally I don't know what the hell anyone in my family is going to say when I reveal that to them. A handful of my good friends know and they pretty much have no problem with it, and the guys are even less irked than the girls.

But as for asian youth and sexual orientation I'd be interested to know what has happened with it for anyone here who is either homosexual or bisexual. Especially in the asian community, not just withini the household... what do friends and teachers think (if they have expressed their views)?

[ls-al]

Please don't make sweeping generalizations of everyone, because not everyone here comes from an asian background and not all asian families respond to mess ups the way you have described.

On another note, I'm not asian but I am firmly standing on the bisexual line and personally I don't know what the hell anyone in my family is going to say when I reveal that to them. A handful of my good friends know and they pretty much have no problem with it, and the guys are even less irked than the girls.

But as for asian youth and sexual orientation I'd be interested to know what has happened with it for anyone here who is either homosexual or bisexual. Especially in the asian community, not just withini the household... what do friends and teachers think (if they have expressed their views)?

Well from what I know, (I'm half asian). They are kind of in denial, to them, homosexuality is a disease that can be cured. Even when their kids come up to them as homosexual, the mom still tries to hook him up with girls. I know I saw that happened with my mom's friend's family. My sister has a half chinese half french friend, he's gay for so long and he has yet to tell his mother cuz her fear how she's going to react. Asian people are really strict, and hard. How can I say this, the way they live is more family centered than individual needs. So to them, being homosexual or bi is like a disrespect to them and won't accept the shame cast upon the family.

I'm not in any kind against homosexuality and bisexuality, so if you got a drift that I am, you're (you as in the reader not william) wrong :x

---

ls -al

P.S. /me HUGS AND KISSES pikachu!!!

[Kinael]

William wasn't talking to you, Is-al; he quoted Anguishedblade.

[ls-al]

William wasn't talking to you, Is-al; he quoted Anguishedblade.


I know, I'm just answering his question in his last paragraph, even though I'm not personally bi or homosexual, but I know people. And I wanted to make sure I didn't offense anyone ^^


----
ls -al

I CHOOSE YOU PIKHANCHU :x

[ACXchan]

Oddly enough, it's *Asian* culture that once strongly believed in the idea of the "third sex" which most often is a male that takes on the female role in society. This applies to sexual and non-sexual positions but has become more taboo the more Asia *westernizes* and I would say that's due to Christian Missionary westernization of Asia. Everyone knows back in the day samurais led a sexual lifestyle similar to the Greeks though the Greeks were much more open about how good love between the same sexes was.

I can't speak for China or any other Asian country but I know in Thailand gay people are seen as nothing new or just a quirky novelty of society. Movies about gay guys (Iron ladies, for example) are pretty popular there. They aren't seen as equals per se but they aren't persecuted either.

add: Oh and Misao, yeah it's a stereotype that lesbians have bad taste in music but I guess it depends on your opinion of artists like Ani DiFranco @D@

[Eric]

I don't think it's the Asian culture rather the Indian culture that classify "Hijras" as the third gender.

[kokochiyoi]

I think it's same hard for every single culture, I remember when my cousin said he was gay....there was this huge mess around the family...but at the end everybody got used to it, I know that my uncle thinks it's his own mistake that his son is gay and I think that's....lame...somehow I think everybody wants to say something about the subject but none is able to...

[phlyRy]

How can I say this, the way they live is more family centered than individual needs. So to them, being homosexual or bi is like a disrespect to them and won't accept the shame cast upon the family.

this is the point i was getting across earlier...that often asians don't respond very well towards homosexual because of asian society is a COLLECTIVE one. and not an individualistic one...as western society is..today, this is less true, but a strange phenomon has been going on, as asian society becomes more individualistic and western...more collective. and now i guess technically it all depends on the cases...but somehow the later generation of asians still doubt it has made changes. so we remain more closeted...at least to the parents.

[Hisphere]

I'm white and bisexual.. I don't know if I count then.. But I also don't feel that there should be a distinction between asian bisexuals and bisexuals. It's like separating jam and strawberry jam. Oo;

The one thing I can't stand, though, is when parents find out that their kids are bisexual or gay and they throw them out... I have a friend that that happened to, and he's coping, but it's really hard.. Why are people so against gays, is it because they're afraid of what they don't understand? I mean, before the church came along in Rome, everyone was screwing the first thing that moved. o.o; And about the gay marriage thing going on, whatever happened to the separation between church and state? The homophobia thing began primarily with the church, no?

[AnguishedBlade]

Actually, now that I think about it, I don't think you're parents really don't care if you're gay or not. Because you have the choice to do what you want to do. Even if you're parents told you to marry a woman and you were gay, once you left that house, you're still going to do what YOU want to do. Unless you wish to live the expectations of your parents of course. Seriously, I don't think anyone's freinds or family even know if they are bi/gay, because it's personal info, and I don't think it's shared openly often.

[ACXchan]

Eric: I don't think it's the Asian culture rather the Indian culture that classify "Hijras" as the third gender.

..... You don't consider Indians to be Asian ^ ^;;? And it is Asian culture, because the third gender exists in several Southeast Asian countries (ie. Thailand, Indonesia, etc.) it used to exist in China and it was prevalent in Hawaii before the US took it @D@;;

[kokochiyoi]

I still don't understand why It's different/harder for asian???

[Rady]

I don't see much "difference" per se, nor is it exceptionally harder for asians, but the only factor would just be that asian families in general tend to be more close-minded when it comes to expressing sexuality, whether it be in terms of something specific like "I'm gay" or generally like "I like sex." That's all I see ^_^;;

[AnguishedBlade]

People in the world are judgemental.

Especially where I live... although in Canada...

*nod nod* Still. And asian families want they're children to life specific lives. Why? They're just so goddamn... strict...

For me, I can't share it with everyoen. Religion barriers are also present...

*sigh* Stupid...

Why won't people open they're eyes...

I found out that I was bi. *GASP!*

EDIT: oh yeah, I'm asian too.. xD


Oi...are you sure you're bi? Or do you really just don't know your sexuality? People tend to think they're bi when they're really not.

[Kyreii]

LOL at anguishedblade, same here, asian as well... living in asia. Parents are as strict as hell

Well, I'm not bi, but I have a lot of friends who are... (Well, you also WOULD if you went to an all boys christian school, but that's besides the point...) And I also have a girl friend who is bi. She studies in an all girls school... pattern?

Personal opinion:: Personally, I feel that nothing's wrong with being bi or gay or whatever you want to call it. It's just how those people are. It's another form of discrimination, this time not by race, but by sexual preferences...

[phlyRy]

cultural differences affect the way people might react to things. since sexual orientation other than hetero are still not widely accepted, it becomes more of an issue, and culture comes into play. like i said, asian people just don't want to talk about sex in general, because of the way asian culture is...not wanting to discuss anything individuals do. thus it's more scary in some way because if things like this are never brought up, if you have a partner and your family asks you about it, how should you respond? how would they respond if you tell them the truth? cultures are changing though, asian cultures becoming more westernized, the differences between the two should become smaller.

[Flow]

I'm white and I'm bisexual. -Shrug.- That or I'm really confused on my sexuality at the time being.. ._.

[Kyreii]

Most of us will end up confused at some time in our lives. I can't see why this can't be applied to being bi or gay. And if being bi or gay is the identity you choose, then why the hell should people hold it against you?

[kokochiyoi]

Well that's how the world we live in works...saddly.

[ACXchan]

Personally I think reality is more the way Rady describes it, ie. Asian families tend to just be more close-minded about sexuality in general. Hearing "If you're going to have sex I want you to use a condom." is just as rare as hearing "It's okay if you're gay." or "Here I bought you birth control pills."

I don't think westernization means being more accepting of non-heterosexuality. China up until the 1800s didn't express an opinion on homosexuality. Preferring your own sex just wasn't a big deal back then, until Christianity eheh.

[sakuyaku]

Mm. I'm Asian and bi. Newly fifteen, maybe, but I'm pretty confident (for once) about that.

Erk... first time confession; feels kinda awkward.

[phlyRy]

sakuyaku, i applaud you for coming out.

i wasn't trying to pressure people to come out...^^;; and now that i think about it...i'm such an old fart here...or getting there.

[sakuyaku]

"With age comes 'experience.'" Wink wink.

Er...
I meant, "Age ain't nothing but a number."

Yeah, that's it x3

[phlyRy]

experience?? ^^;; i'd rather discredit my experiences...or do u mean the number of girls where things were not mutual?

[kokochiyoi]

welldone sakuyaku! :)

[Fafaa]

haha you ppl are so funnieee XDD i'm asian but not a bi >< i'm just really good friends with my friends that are girls ... hmm... yea.. but sometimes they get on mi nerves so that's prolly why i'm not a bi -yet- XD oh well its not a good/bad thing :3